Wonderful Turkish cookbook
“Happiness equals reality minus expectations.” –
“The fundamental question” of wellbeing according to economists Rakesh Sarin and Manel Baucells, in their book Engineering Happiness
I should be dead by now.
Talk about low expectations!
That was what an “expert” said in August 2020, and my oncologist’s prognosis in October 2021. These are surreal moments, certainly as I experienced them, and even in my memory. I wasn’t alone. John absorbed those blows too. We had no choice but to consider the real possibility of my death and even plan for it by engaging in hospice and learning about the drugs that might help me be comfortable (and so graceful in front of our children) on the way out. Yeah, we went there. We did that. But we were also spurred into action. In August of 2020, I was still running, doing yoga, cooking, eating, working/giving speeches/doing podcasts and workshops, parenting…I had a plan for recovering from chemo, settling the mast cell activation traditional treatments caused, clearing mold which took hold when my immune system was under attack, pursuing hyperthermia/hyperbaric oxygen/mistletoe, and other naturopathic remedies. I did all that and felt well for quite a while. The expert seemed pretty stupid. But ovarian cancer is wily and tough. Not finishing chemo in range leaves you vulnerable, and I’m not luckier than anyone else. By September of 2021, it had the better of me. No matter what I did, I couldn’t outrun the cancer stem cells left behind by ineffective front-line treatment and was going downhill fast. In October of 2021, I was given 3 months to live. I wasn’t supposed to make it to our son’s 18th birthday.
But I’m still here.
And getting better every day.
Thanks to effective treatment here in Istanbul.
Should I have to leave my home and family to pursue these well-known combinatorial therapies? No, but I’ve written a lot about that already. Today I’m not lamenting what I’ve lost or what I’m missing. I’m taking pleasure in simple things I took for granted for most of my life. Here are some of the things I’ve enjoyed, I look forward to, and that get me out of bed in the morning these days:
- Eating a hearty breakfast (with pleasure and without pain); same for lunch and dinner
- Cooking anything and everything I desire and can dream up. This is not just a means to an end for me, but a creative outlet that has been central to my being for as long as I can remember. Going for months in the fall without being able to stand at the counter and stove cut off a piece of me.
- Surfing Instagram and following fabulous chefs to learn (yet another new way – plant-strong keto) to heal my body through food. As much as I’d love to live without constraints, somehow painting on a canvas drives a certain amount of creativity…and feeds my cookbook obsession!
- Talking/WhatsApping with our kids about…anything. Mostly their lives. Some updates on ours. Watching their stories unfold, even as they rise to the challenge of having me and John so far away. So far so good, and I don’t take for granted for a second the time we were able to spend with them growing up, so our connection can be strong even as it is more virtual than we would like. it’s been wonderful to hear about the kids through John as he’s been home this past week.
- Date nights with my husband here in Istanbul
- Dinner out with my friend Jeanne (and more to come!) here in Istanbul
- Discovering new restaurants, new cuisines, new dishes. The best Ottoman food we had so far was at Zennup 1844. Their cookbook is now in English; yes, I bought it (pictured above) and you can too. Jeanne and I made zucchini fritters inspired by those pages! I’ll be cooking from it for a long time. Not sure if you would like Turkish food? It’s a mixture of Arabic, middle eastern, Asian, European, and Ottoman. Imagine homemade yogurt, braised lamb and/or beans, lentils, salads with pomegranate seeds and sour syrup. You can be keto, vegan, and everything else. The food is flexible. Here are the top Turkish chefs on Instagram to give you a taste.
- Exploring the city in which I live with family and friends. Istanbul is a magical city where the ancient and the modern live side by side. Noting the progress my body is making here by realizing I didn’t need to use a wheelchair to get to/from/through the Hagia Sophia recently. It felt good. Cleveland has its own magic, as do Chicago, Boston, Bilbao, Marbella, Detroit, Ann Arbor, wherever you live…all in their own way.
- Grocery shopping – especially in the produce market, where I have a new friend in the purveyor there. I’m a grocer’s daughter and a former produce girl. These are my people.
- Seeing friends in the restaurant downstairs and sharing our lives, food, and news. Suleyman’s son now is 2nd in ALL OF TURKEY for 18 and under in chess!
- Learning and practicing Turkish (slow going, but appreciated and fun) and other languages with the international community in the clinic. Halva, Ahmet, the nurses, people in the restaurant downstairs…all teach me something new every day. I can also recommend Pimsleur audio courses, which I’ve used for many other languages as well. I can’t sing, but trying out new languages feels like that to me.
- Moving my body. I used to run and plan to do so again. For now, walking to the “far away” grocery store is a triumph and gentle yoga and light weights are possible.
- Reading. I had stopped for a while, needing more active distraction, but can be quiet again within myself. I suppose the theme is immersion, as I’m currently loving Istanbul: Memories and the City by Nobel Prize in Literature winner Orhan Pamuk (thank you, Karel Paukert!)
- Games! John and I, understandably, weren’t in the mood or habit of playing games when we arrived in November. Jeanne brought that fun back and made treatment time fly with Quiddler and Words with Chums. And yes, I wait for the new Wordle every day just like many of you!
- The upside of social media – I have a whole new appreciation for these connections now. Being far from home, having the virtual “conversation” with people who take the time to read these blogs, comment on posts, and message or video chat with me about their lives is not only encouraging but helps me stay connected to home. My feed is loaded with positive and supportive people, recipes, pictures, and messages. I’m constantly surprised to hear from people who have been following my writing for some time, then take a moment to reach out. Thank you.
- Writing is another creative outlet that makes me feel like myself, whether it’s a blog post, an article on leadership and empathy for a journal, or emails with friends and family. I’m grateful for this channel and the inspiration that flows through it.
- Sleeping and dreaming. Pain is very interruptive of everything. For a while, I stopped dreaming at night. I missed it. Dreams are back, in full color with new meanings and messages. I’m listening.
- Meditating, praying, daydreaming. For a while, with the dark outlook and pain, I needed more constant distraction. I am okay being quiet now.
- Movies and shows. Mostly feel-good stuff I missed in all of those workaholic years. Love, Actually was fun. From Russia with Love is mostly set in Istanbul! So is The Club/Klup, telling the story of the rise of nationalism in 1950’s Turkey. Queer Eye is so much more than makeovers. Who wouldn’t want to spend a week with those adorable guys?! When my curiosity gets the best of me, I’ll check out an episode from the new season of Ozark. How much worse can it get for Marty and his family? Don’t tell me.
- Dreaming about vacations. Starting to plan some. “Hell, I almost died” is my mantra. Why wait?
- Did I mention dry wine can be keto? Oh, I know, I know. But, “hell, I almost died.” There must be pleasure and wine on a night out to dinner is one of mine.
Am I free of all discomfort? No? Do I have to be poked many days for infusions? Yes. Am I done with chemo? Not quite halfway. Am I assured of remission at the end of all of this? No. Do I still worry sometimes about the long-term? Yes.
So I have to come back to the simple things, both to mark progress and to live while I’m here. After all, I shouldn’t be. I have to take things one day at a time. Literally.
People have talked about focusing on simplicity forever. The more modern and complex our lives, the more we need reminding. It’s always in fashion, whether you like schmaltzy movies like The Sound of Music (how many times have we watched that one?!) or classic songs like Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Simple Man (always one of my husband’s favorites).
I listened to these messages but can’t claim to have lived them until recently… when my expectations became so low, that I’m grateful just to be here. And without constant pain. Maybe you can appreciate such simple things in a new way without the portal of a death sentence. I bet you can do most of what I listed above.
Grant – our youngest – turned 18 on February 1, 2022.
I. Am. Still. Alive.
I wasn’t able to be home, but wonderful friends and John made sure he had a memorable time and shared as much as they could with me by text, video, and email. It was Grant who shook off the latest prognosis and said his mom dying young did not “feel like part of his story.”
So far, the expert doctors are wrong and our son is right. His empathy helps him see clearly.
It’s that simple.
Jackie- I’m so happy to wake up to your post and read your beautiful list of simple things. I turned on Lynard Skynard (nice choice John) and drank my coffee and thought of you walking to the grocery store, doing wordl, and cooking great food in Istanbul! Sending you lots of love from the North Pole. Xoxox stacy
🙂
Just got back from all the grocery and produce stores. Chicken tikka masala and creamy chicken mushroom soup in the plans. Much love back to you! Xo
I can’t imagine a world without you. Literally. Thank you fir all your insights. You help me & so many.. I continue praying for you. I saw the Orchid you sent to Liz Fretz. It’s blooming like crazy. I really felt like this was a sign that you are on the mend! Keep cooking! I love & read cookbooks too. I follow Persian chefs, Italian chefs, mostly. I love the cookbook, Bottom of the Pot. It visually stunning & the recipes are wonderful. I gave it to my nephew with a tagine for Christmas. I’m definitely going to check out the book you recommended. I read the cookbooks like books. They really speak to me. My prayers continue. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for helping. Thank you for the reminders of what is truly important. I love you.
Love you too soul(food) sister ❤️
Jackie, you continue to be an inspiration. I am going to enjoy blots of simple things today. Loves of love from snowmegeedon.
Wonderful. Lots of love back to you and yours, Heather!
I love to read your story when I don’t have interruptions. Your life, as hard as it may be, is an inspiration to me. I’ think natural to have the big picture in site. Reading you story reminds me to live in “the now” great advice!
You and your family are in my prayers!❤️🙏🏻
Thanks so much, Jenny! Xo
Jackie,
It’s lovely to be reminded and see the simple things through your eyes. We watched this last night and I thought of you:
https://www.saltfatacidheat.com/
You may have already seen but amazing scenery, food, cooking, energy, etc.
Ours is getting up early and playing Chinese checkers over tea!
Love you!
Chinese checkers! I haven’t done that in forever. I’ll put saltfatacidheat on the shortlist. Maybe even tonight! I have the cookbook and love it. Love you too
I love Salt, Acid, Fat , heat. Damon Nosrat is someone I follow on Instagram. She has a fantastic focaccia recipe. Highly recommend
Started watching last night
LOVE!
Jackie, I’m mentally planning a dream Ann Arbor trip for us! I’m so so glad you feel your treatment is efficacious, and that you are able to enjoy some simple pleasures. You are a wonderful writer, and I truly look forward to your blog posts. Sending much love.
Jackie I read your posts and am saddened at what you’ve gone through. I’ve always seen you as having it all… cool runnings… (another movie for you that’s inspiring). To be clear, I mean without serious problems. But know that’s not true. Your post taught me that making assumptions lead to inappropriate imaging.
What I am inspired by is how a terrible disease allowed you to make introspective decisions that broadened your perspectives, allowed you expand your opportunities, live those choices and then share them with others.
I’m so lucky to have been inspired by your journey and heartened that you continue to improve. We are lucky to experience, in some small way, your journey. I pray that your journey to remission and recovery we lead you back home to us. Your life WAS one that inspired by hard work and the success that brought. But NOW it’s inspiring due to your strength, courage and life changing journey that you’ve blessed us with through sharing. I’m greatful to be able to continue to walk that path with you and continue to learn and share what you’re teaching with others. I send you my heartfelt best wishes for continued progress, love to strengthen your resolve and hope for God’s blessings for you and the entire Acho/ Lemay families.
Jeffrey – what a beautiful and touching note. I really appreciate all that you shared and also hope and pray this treatment brings me back home to live a new, sustainable life. I’m grateful for the supportive community that is encouraging all of us from near and far, including you and your profound words. Much love, Jackie
That means a lot to me, Samara. Thank you. Can’t wait for the trip together. Xo
Love seeing this today!
I think of you often and love hearing from you, Roger. Thanks for being in touch. Hope all goes well!
You amaze me. Your posts make me re-evaluate the way I live my life. And today the post reminded me of my youngest granddaughter who loves to play “The Gift to be Simple”on her violin. I sing along in my head because I am not much of a singer but the lyrics speak to me.’Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free,
‘Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
‘Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gain’d,
To bow and to bend we will not be asham’d,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come round right.
So I pray for you to come round right.
I love that song. Rick Nelson used to have the little ones sing it in the choir at St. Paul’s, including Sophie (and Grant back in the day). Thanks for reminding me, Cathy. Much love
Another magnificent, inspiring, and thought provoking post, Jackie! I don’t know how you do it. This experience has made you even more amazing today than when I met you ten years ago! And I never imagined that was possible! And the best part is that we all have so much to learn from you and that you’re willing to share your wisdom. I need these blog posts in my life. So just keep ‘em coming!! Grant is a prophetic kid! And enjoy the next few episodes of Ozark! Man does it get good! Sending you lots of love and healing thoughts from inside a snow globe!
“Inside the snow globe” is a great image! Thanks for your encouragement and being in touch, Cheryl. You brighten my days too. Much love
You are such an inspiration. Thank you for continuing to share your journey!!
Thank you, Lisa!
You inspire connection and the celebration of life. I am so glad we have our medium and as you heal I’m glad again to know my friend, who apparently I’ve missed for a long time without even knowing it.
The feeling is mutual, Jonathan. So glad to be connected now! Xo
Dear Jackie,
GRANT IS SO RIGHT!! I LOVE hearing how you’re doing. I read Midnight at the Pera Palace (https://www.amazon.com/Midnight-Pera-Palace-Modern-Istanbul/dp/0393351866) while we were traveling Turkey and really enjoyed it. I bought some pomegranate syrup at the middle eastern store yesterday (but passed on the turkish delight!). Thinking of you! XOXOX
-Laura
Dear Laura – thank you for your ceaseless encouragement. You have always been a special friend, and I’m so glad we are still connected. That book goes on the list! I’m really enjoying any books/movies set locally right now. Hope you enjoy the syrup. It’s great on salads, also salmon, chicken…basically anything that would benefit from a vinaigrette. Much love, Jackie
Jackie:
You are an inspiration to all. I feel privileged and honored to call you my friend. You are the bravest person I know. I love the Sound the of Music. From now on every time I watch I will think of you.
You have had a positive effect on on so so many people. You are my hero. God bless you.
The feeling is mutual, Owen. Much love back to you!
Good Saturday to you Jackie! Thanks for opening our eyes to those simple things we all take for granted in our hectic lives. Yes, even as retired people!
A cup of coffee in the quiet morning; the sparkle of the snow (!) – yes, we have LOTS of it now; a picture from parts of the world we traveled, and yesterday while watching the opening ceremonies my eyes filled up thinking “this is how I believe God intended us to live on this earth” – people from all over the world celebrating the greatness of who we are with music, pageantry, athletic skills and hope! Simple things right in front of us!
A big hug to John for me when he returns!!
Hello Father Brian! I’ve been looking for a channel to watch the Olympics here. I catch snippets on the news, but so far, not the whole deal. I love these moments of coming together as well. Glorious! I will deliver that hug (and some creamy chicken mushroom soup – made it to all the grocery and produce stores myself today) to John when I see him tomorrow night! Much love back to you
Jackie, your posts filled with spirit and gratitude inspire me. So glad you are there in Turkey and thriving. Thinking of you and yours in my prayers.
Love Jo
Thank you, Jo. I’m grateful we are in each other’s lives. ❤️🙏
Reading this sooooooo reminds me to be grateful. And, also, to look at things from a different POV…not just to “be” grateful, but to actually see (by that, I mean get a better/fuller perspective on) what I’m looking at/experiencing/thinking about/doing. Eileen
Wonderful, Eileen. Thanks for sharing!
Yay! So happy for you and you family!
😘😘😘
Your words are truly a gift… Your revelations may have come from something painful, but yet exist as a blessing nonetheless. It’s so lovely to hear about all of the good things you are doing in Turkey and the adventures you are having! You truly are one amazing human. Sending love from freezing and very snowy Cleveland ❤️❤️❤️ Cherie
What a poetic note. Thank you, Cherie!
I so needed and loved that, Jackie. Sending you and your family hope for continued strength, wisdom, and joy….and much much more writing.
Thanks so much, Tilly!
YOU are still alive!!!!! I feel so emotional writing those words. Glad you saw my beautiful photos of blue sky, sun, and fresh white snow! Beautiful, just as all your words are in your post!! I would like to try some Turkish food. Perhaps I will buy that cookbook!!
Thank you, Lee!
Thank you for the reminder to appreciate the small things. So glad to know that you are feeling stronger! It’s so awesome to hear all that you are learning in Turkey. Makes me want to visit one day. Sending hugs to you ❤️
Thank you, Hallie 😘
You are an inspiration in courage, living and the enduring human spirit. I am
learning not just about you but from you. I am incorporating more empathy in leading my law firm. Decided to send a hardworking father and his ten year old son to the Super bowl for a once in a lifetime experience. I am on Team Jackie! Powell
So cool! I’m sure you practice and lead with empathy. Wonderful, Powell. Thank you for your encouragement 🙏
Jackie, I just want you to know that I think of you often and so appreciate your beautiful, inspiring posts. I also want you to know that I saw Grant on his birthday. My little one, Maddie, takes rock climbing at Shaker Rocks and Grant was there. I wasn’t sure that it was him, but my other daughter, Ellie, confirmed that he works there. His friends/co-workers were giving him a present. He is clearly loved there. I’m sure that it was/is difficult to be so far away and hope this brings you a smidge of comfort.
Thanks for sharing! Yes that would’ve been our Grant. Shaker Rocks is a wonderful place to work and he loves it. So good to hear! Yes, I wish I could be with him but so glad he had a terrific bday ❤️
Your journal is pure positivity. I feel all you write as I have walked in your shoes but like you … I was given 6 months and 13 yrs later I am still here. Believe❤️
😘😘😘
Thank you, Jackie, for another inspiring post. Reading this message today filled me with a greater appreciation for what is important in my life.
Best regards-
Ron
Thank you, Ron.
So inspiring, Jackie… as usual!
A couple of recos, at the intersection of games and British TV. Multiple seasons of each of these are available on YouTube:
—“Only Connect”… so gloriously nerdy, it makes Jeopardy look like Wheel of Fortune; and the host is fantastic. We watched hours of OC every night during the holidays. Season 17 is most recent and good one to start with.
—“Taskmaster”… This is actually a comedy show under guise of a game show. Very silly, in the best way. Start with season 7 or 9.
Enjoy and keep getting well!
Debbie
Thank you!
I agree with Grant! ❤️ You have work left here. ❤️ Our first time meeting is going to be on this side ❤️ I’m not interested in going to Heaven yet either❤️
😘😘😘😘
You are truly an inspiration. Simple things are the things that keep me going. In fact, simple things are the only moments that I even notice. I see everything through different lenses now. My brain cannot comprehend the complexities of life. I don’t know if I take pleasure, every day, in anything in particular but I know the lack of importance I feel towards unnecessary disruptions and of anything material. Maybe I am not making sense. I am just so happy that you are feeling better and that you are living each moment to the fullest.
You make perfect sense. ❤️❤️❤️
Perfect reminders of what we really NEED versus what we think we need for happiness. Since you added a video from Simple Man, I have a request. Please do yourself a favor and listen to “Dreams” by the Allman Brothers as you sit above an Istanbul sunrise from your flat. You will not regret it. Expert hint: Find a long version.
Let me know if you ever need a visitor! Love to see the city. Be well my friend
Thank you! Will do 😘
Jackie, I love your blog and importantly your progress! Sending you and John love from Cleveland and everyone at Blue Point.
Thank you, Colleen!