Our Turkish Team, led by Dr. Slocum (back center, in the suit), who is one example of a wonderful oncologist
In the two and a half years since I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, John and I have experienced a range of medical, oncological, naturopathic, and healing support. Oncology is fascinating in the way it attracts certain personalities, some wonderfully empathetic and some, very much not. I’ve had the privilege to hear from other patients about their experiences along the way as well. The stories are not great. To that end, here are some thoughts…
Dear Aspiring Oncologist,
IF…
- You are going into medicine to make your parents proud, don’t. Just don’t.
- Memorization is your strong suit and if creative solutions elude you, don’t choose oncology. Certainly don’t work with more difficult cancers and later-stage patients for whom the gold standard of care fails. Parroting the usual plan, or worse yet, the one we had to design ourselves, doesn’t give us any comfort in your ability to care for us.
- Not having answers to difficult questions is an affront to your ego, stay out of oncology. The important questions are really hard, and nobody has good answers. You don’t either. Pretending with us doesn’t help, especially when we have more experience than you do, inside-out, dealing with cancer.
- Fear of dying is a trigger for you, run the other way. We don’t need any more fear. The situation provides plenty. We can’t help you with your fears, and blaming our bodies or mutant genes is out-of-date and wrong.
- You have to be the one with all the answers, choose a less complex profession with better-known solutions. The truth of healing cancer requires a multi-factorial approach and the best answers are coming across and outside of medical silos now.
- Your own insecurities make it difficult to admit what you don’t know, stay out of oncology. It’s complex. Experienced patients can spot a phony as quickly as small children. The conversation won’t go well and your triggers are big, bright, and shiny.
- Competition jazzes you more than empathizing with other people, maybe surgery is your jam. Oncology is not. As medicine evolves to what it should be (effective, preventive, patient-centered HEALTHcare), that won’t suit you either.
- You’re empathically hindered by prior wounds, get therapy before you go into medicine. Some issues are intractable, so some of you just won’t cut it.
- You have a g-d complex and really need patients to look up to you as an all-powerful healer rather than collaborate on their care, that’s another good thing to explore in therapy before or rather than working with people (in any way, medicine included).
- To that end, if it’s tempting to point to or even start fires (i.e., stating worst-case scenarios such as “sepsis and death” from a treatment we’ve had 18 times before with no problems) just so you can be the hero. Well, we’re not sure what profession needs that. None. Head back to therapy. Good luck.
However, IF…
- You are both fascinated and humbled by the natural design of the human body (and the world at large) and want to be part of HEALTHcare of the future, medicine needs you.
- You are keen to change solutions and systems that may drive GDP but don’t work for patients, keep on.
- You can deal with fellow humans in their full lifespan, healthy, sick, or even dying with dignity, that’s all part of your job description.
- You have both the practicality AND imagination to provide vision and hope to people for whom the gold standard of care failed, oncology is a great choice.
- You know that patients and behavioral choices are keys to healthcare and collaboration is exciting to you, stay the course.
- Your self-awareness and emotional stability are exceptional, leaving you in a steady place for dealing with difficult diagnoses, ground yourself and stay here with us.
- You are cool with knowing what you don’t know and admitting that…getting answers elsewhere when they exist…lamenting with us when they don’t. Stay awhile.
- You have the maturity to sit with people in good or dark places, with good and bad results, you could do this job.
- Empathy is the secret sauce to how you move through the world, making work with people natural and endlessly productive, we need more people like you in oncology.
A lot of this comes down to healthy empathic capacity, which can be evaluated and developed, both individually and at the system level. Wouldn’t it be great if medicine really understood empathy, rather than gave it lip service, wrapped in snazzy marketing campaigns? Patients know the truth. We see and feel the reality way too often, and we’re sorry to say, many of you are getting C’s, D’s, or just plain failing. Ouch. It’s not really your fault though. Probably, no one told you what the job really was.
Well, now you know. Choose wisely.
Sincerely, Jackie
YOU are simply AMAZING!
Your insights, commentary at the board are incredible. Thank you Jackie for your tenacity, perseverance and faith, though we have not met, you have profoundly impacted my life and view of the future!~ THANK YOU!!
Bob Wood
Thank you, Bob. I sure hope we meet!
I will re-read this many times as how can I be a better healthcare provider if I do not listen and learn from my patients. Thank you for sharing this! Thinking of you. xo
You need it less than others, Jen
I am going to save this to send to any student who says they want to study medicine or oncology specifically. This is incredible.
Thanks, Renee. I hope it helps
Having sat through oncology appointments with cancer patients, I have experienced this behavior and wholeheartedly agree with each and every point. At times, especially when the oncologist refused to look the patient in the eyes, I was almost not sure they were human.
Jackie, thanks for your clarity and wit, I didn’t know how much I needed someone to call this out.
Thanks, Jennifer
Jackie….you continually amaze me and you are spot on. Whether it’s cancer or another life altering disease all aspects of empathy and humbleness are so needed. I am fortunate to have one physician who checks all those boxes bit the system keeps trying to change him. His tenacity to be who he is constantly shows. I wish there were more like him. Thank you for your insights and just being you. We need you!!
Thanks for sharing, April. So true, the system is not set up to produce or support the more emotionally talented docs.
Thank you for always stating the truth so eloquently! Your articles always give me so much to ponder for days afterward. I am blessed to have an oncologist that checks all the correct boxes! Looking forward to working with her to keep me healthy and disease free for many years to come! Continued prayers for you in your journey!!
Love and Prayers,
Vicki
Thanks for sharing, Vicki
Wow! You make me feel so fortunate to have been treated by some of the best in the field! My
hope is that you find the same for yourself, as each and every case is unique. Wishing you more exposure to the later types mentioned here in your journey to good health! 😘
Thank you
Brilliant!! I love that full table of fabulous Turkish food surrounded by full hearts. EVERY doctor would benefit from your guidance. Thanks for sharing your journey!
We bought them lunch before we left. It was a joy to take care of them in that little way
I am so glad you had this Turkish Team to give you the strength, courage and stamina to persevere through this cancer! As I sat with Mama through these appointments, I can relate to almost every one of your bullets as a caretaker. It is 💯 not easy or fair what you are going through. You continue to amaze me.
Xo
They should be required reading for every medical student. I am forever grateful for your wisdom.
Thank you, Lila 🙏
Amazing, insightful, and brilliant as always.
🙏
I hope you find a wonderful team worthy of your insights, persistence, determination and sense of humor! That’s a tall order.
Sending love as always and hoping for some significant good news on your health.
Thanks Sam
These are some of the most thoughtful and insightful remarks about “caring” for individuals throughout their cancer journey I’ve ever read.
As future “healers” it is critical to care for the mind, body and spirit!
Thanks Jackie!
Thanks so much, Eileen
Your experienced perspective is deeply appreciated
This should be mandatory reading for every medical student. Thank you Jackie.
Thank you, Deborah
Jackie,.
Everything you write is so thoughtful and moving.
I fear as many do what you are going through but recognize that no one can truly understand unless they are in your shoes. I respect people who are honest about what they don’t know,,but believe in
trying new things with hope and optimism. We desperately need intensive research into new things and not merely tiny incremental “improvement” over the old. Your writings make me think things through in different ways. Your courage is inspiring.
Thanks so much, Powell. I really appreciate your perspective.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I feel all the same could be said for every aspect of the medical field. & every practitioner. Thinking of you every day & asking for miracles.
🙏❤️🙏❤️