Photo credit: Sophie LeMay
I am done being poked, prodded, cut, and poisoned.
Somehow, it seems I am finished with my work here on earth as well.
Chicago treatments aren’t working.
Why?
They were not able to replicate what I was receiving in Istanbul closely enough.
Should I have stayed in Turkey? Maybe, but I was not near remission there either…my body couldn’t hold onto the progress I’d made there through so many brutal treatments. I’ve lost ~6 months of hard work.
I’ve loved being home with John, Sophie, and Grant and would have made this tradeoff to come home with full knowledge of what would happen.
At some point, even with integrated chemotherapy, the bone marrow gives out.
I’m nearly there, and nowhere near remission.
There are no effective immunotherapies that seem to be ready for me now either.
We have done absolutely everything, but I am suffering. It has become hard to eat and drink, with cancer disrupting all of that.
My body is done. It’s time to find peace and pass as painlessly as possible.
We are initiating hospice.
A few last thoughts…
I’m glad I learned…
- How much I love my family. John, Sophie, and Grant are my favorite people. Rocky too. Being with all of them has been comforting.
- How liberating it is to dissociate from emotional toxicity…better late than never
- How much I’ve enjoyed being alive for as long as I have been
- How to navigate cancer, with John’s constant partnership, to be alive and mostly out of pain this long…NOT without complaint, mind you. This whole thing is obscene. Courage amounted to going through these treatments, anyway.
I wish…
- CA125 testing were standard for perimenopausal women (note you can ask for this and order it yourself through any number of lab services, e.g., requestatest.com); there are many false positives but secondary imaging will let you know if you need to take action (which could be as simple as having your fallopian tubes removed)
- Gynecologists listened to women coming in with unusual symptoms (bloating, UTI’s, post-menopausal bleeding) the first time
- The integrative care I received in Turkey was fully available in the US
- Effective treatments were available for the majority of ovarian cancer patients – chemo simply doesn’t work most of the time.
- Chemotherapy for all cancers is ultimately replaced by immunotherapies that don’t damage our bodies
- Preventive cancer care, including clean nutrition and environments, becomes normal from birth on. This would be “gold standard of care.”
- I could stick around for the fun part with John, Sophie, and Grant
- I had more time to live, love, work, enjoy
I hope…
- Sophie, Grant, and John can remember me when I was well, forgive me for not being able to stay that way, and live fully without me
- That you will help them do that and keep them company; there is never a good time to leave
- That their memories of me provide comfort as they navigate a new normal without the wife and mom they knew until now
- That my words provided some inspiration along the way, and they might continue to do so (Currency of Empathy holds true; Cancer Culture: Fixing the Landscape by Infusing Empathy to be published soon…)
- That life in some form continues so I can keep my family company somehow…I believe this is true…I just don’t know how. Soon, I’ll find out. It’s a big adventure, really. I’m not afraid of death, just the painful part before the transition…
- That I get all the answers to the questions I have about health, life, the point of everything…my version of heaven. Even Google can’t do all that.
- That my dad meets me on the other side
- That in the life after this time on earth, I again experience the kind of wholeness and joy which has been hard to access while accepting cancer treatments, dealing with many constraints, and living with constant discomfort (who knows how it works but maybe pizza and wine come back on the celestial menu…Minna’s dumplings and peach cobbler, Aunt Rusty’s spaghetti, Grandma Acho’s tacrathas)
- That you who get to carry on here with life on earth, enjoy retirement, have fun with your spouse, travel as much as you’d like, watch your kids graduate, become adults, get married, and have kids (if they so choose).
- That you get to rock your grandkids…that maybe you’ll even rock mine and somehow let them know how much I love them already
I’m grateful…
- For the unfettered love I’ve experienced in my life
- For the partnership and family John LeMay and I have built; may it sustain him even in my absence…as I’ve told him, he’s so loveable and deserving of partnership in his life still, but I get first dibs in heaven.
- For the work I’ve been able to do in the world
- For a healthy body that supported all of that for ~50 years, with hardly a thought about time limits
Maybe we always want more time.
I bet we do. I know I do.
But it’s time to rest, and I’ve earned it.
Thank you for your company, love, and prayers.
Much love back to you.
Oh Jackie, My heart breaks for you and your family. I have quietly followed along with your journey and have been so inspired by your beautiful spirit. You are a true warrior. Please know you have inspired so many with your journey, your beautiful writing, and your work with empathy. You’ve created a legacy as beautiful as you are. I am deeply grateful to have known you and wish you peace and comfort.
Ty🙏
Jackie,
You continue to inspire us all. I am praying for your comfort, peace and faith as well as for the strength and faith of John, Sophie and Grant. May you find solace in the fact you are truly loved by so many. Love, Megan
Xo
I loved meeting you
Loved following you in this life and admired you for having bought more time. Do not be afraid as love surrounds you and we will all meet on the other side.
😘😘😘
Jackie, As you may know, my kids and I lost Claudia to cancer 4 years ago. Reading you over the past few years has been such a big part of my personal healing and understanding. I cannot thank you enough for your wisdom and grace and honesty and the help and comfort its brought me. Bless you.
There are too many of us
I’m so sorry, you too
Ty for sharing 🙏
I didn’t know you for very long, but I have a feeling that I’ll never forget you or your kind words. There’s so many things I wish for, but for now I wish you peace and comfort in Gods arms.
Dan
Ty🙏
I think of you often and pray for you more often. Thank you for all the gentle and genuine love you’ve shared with me and so, so many who’s lives you touched : physically, through your teaching, your writing and in every way God has so abundantly gifted you to be empathetic . I pray for your peace over the pain that you fear in the transition and I pray your friends and family are reminded of your great love often in the time we all have left on this side of heaven. God speed my friend & ethereal spirit.
Xo🙏
You extraordinary being. You are always always that. You have changed for the better everyone you have touched. So many. I am grateful to be counted as one. Thank you.
Xoxo
Ty🙏
Jackie,
You will be greatly missed and I was glad you encouraged me to do a TedTalk. You have such courage
Ty Ron🙏❤️
Thank you Jackie for your bravery and strength to share your story and to leave these breadcrumbs behind for all of us. From the day I first met you at a JumpStart board meeting to your most recent blog – every interaction has impacted me personally. I’m grateful to have had you in my universe. I have and will continue to share your journey with others. You are simply amazing. God bless you.
Ty🙏
Thank you for sharing your story and knowledge. It will make a difference to many!
Ty🙏
Thank you for your honesty and courage in the sharing of this heartbreaking journey. Your beauty, intelligence and wisdom have inspired so many. LOVE awaits on the other side, and your dad will be there to welcome you! Grace and peace to you and yours, dear Jackie.
Ty🙏
Congratulations, Jackie, on a life very well-lived and creating love, empathy, and adventure in all who know you. I recall with such fondness that first time I met you in Erieview Tower, knowing that our culture was about to be turbocharged with ideas and a can-do spirit….and it was! Since that time, I have admired your continued evolution as a professional and, more importantly, as a human. You have reflected and inspired every step of the way.
“How I linger
to admire, admire, admire
the things of this world that are kind, and maybe
also troubled —
roses in the wind,
the sea geese on the steep waves,
a love
to which there is no reply?”
— Mary Oliver
Peace to you and your family
Ty🙏
Hugs to you, Jackie, from the bottom of my heart. xoxo
Xo
My darling friend. You have worked so hard and done everything you possibly could. What you leave in your wake ever since I have known you is a trail of kindness, of change, of empathy and passion. I am changed for the better because I know you. I’m glad you will receive deep love around you now. I love you.
Love you too
Jackie,
Your words and your love for everyone has always been apparent to me. You ARE an amazing woman and I am privileged to know you. I wish you peace and no more pain. I wish peace and love to your family and friends. And I wish you know how much we all love you and hold you dear to our hearts.
Namaste my friend,
April ❤️
Namaste
I believe this life is just to prepare us for what’s to come. In just the blink of an eye, we’ll be reunited with the ones we love… I feel that. And until then, you’ve given those yet to cross over the biggest gift on earth…..you. Your strength, your candor, your quest for truth, your beauty. You made us all better. Love you, Jackie Acho. And I’ll see you again.
Ty❤️
Love you Jackie.
Thank you.
Peace to you and your family.
Love you too
Jackie, you are an inspiration to my daughters who have followed your journey, and myself as well. Your work on the Currency of Empathy is ahead of its time but being embraced more and more! You’ve left a timeless imprint on the world. Peace.
Peace
Jackie,
My heart breaks as I read your note. You have been a friend and inspiration to many, a have made countless rooms glow with the warmth and caring you bring. My heart goes out to you and your family. Peace
Ty🙏
Your words offer comfort in more ways than you can imagine. The loss of a loved one leaves so many of us with questions unaswered, hopes unrealized, and words left unspoken. Perhaps what you have so beautifully shared will encourage all of us to say the words and ask the questions, act while we have the chance, and love wholeheartedly in these precious moments. Time is fleeting, we should use it wisely.
I wish I’d known you better. I feel very fortunate to have known you at all.
Ty🙏
Your words have spoken to my heart and many a times exactly what I feel but can’t so eloquently say. Cancer sucks and I’m learning the hard way as you have in your journey. May you find the strength and peace needed to take you home. Know you have made a difference. Heaven will be so lucky to receive another angel!
Ty🙏
Oh Jackie, this hurts my heart to read this. I am so grateful for getting to meet you and the time I got to get to know you. Praying for peace and comfort for you all.
Ty🙏
Jackie,
I am so sorry to hear this news! You are amazing, strong and brave. You fought so hard, You will be missed! I look forward to reading your book!
Ty🙏
Jackie,
It has indeed been an honor working with you. You are an absolute warrior! Your work will forever live on. So find peace and know you’ve changed lives here for the best. God bless!
Ty Michael 🙏
Jackie
I wanted to share that I was fortunate to have seen your latest blog that Karen Lossia shared on FB and have read it several times. I of course was shocked with the news, but selfishly I wanted you to know what your honest words did for me. My younger sister Venis was also stricken with the cancer monster, pancreatic, and she was taken from us far too soon. My life has forever been changed and I’ve struggled to live on without guilt that we didn’t do enough to cure her.. Your words immediately changed me and I finally after 4 years was able to have some of that guilt subside. I thank you for sharing your private journey and sharing every emotion. You will never realize how you have helped me. I pray for your peace and comfort. Thank you. Vera
Thanks so much for sharing
I’m sorry about your sister and glad you have found some peace. Thank you for your prayers. Peace and comfort are just what we need.
Jackie,
This is heartbreaking. I’m so grateful to have gotten to know you at least a little during your journey. I have never seen such grace under such difficult circumstances. You’ve made a really positive difference in a lot of people’s lives.
I don’t have any idea what to say, but know that you and your family are in the prayers of an awful lot of people.
Bless you
Ty🙏
Jackie,
Your bravery, honesty, and generosity in sharing your journey have been inspirational and admirable. Wishing you peace, love, and painlessness in your next steps. Sending hugs and prayers to John, Sophie, and Grant.
XO, Molly Walsh
Ty
Jackie –
You are a caring, wise and sharing person. I have been a fan since we first met when you started as a consultant. In the years since, as you shared your journeys, I relied on your wisdom in your blogs and your book. If you were connected to something I knew it would be outstanding and valuable. You always radiated love for your family, your friends, and the people you worked with.
I will deeply miss you.
David Friedman
Thank you so much David ❤️
You came to mind unexpectedly today, and I went immediately to LinkedIn to see if you had shared any updates. I’m so sad to read this, I hope the days are peaceful and full of love. The love part, I know we can count on. I’ll carry your memory and legacy with me always. Your Dean’s Forum and follow-up workshops at Trinity were the beginnings of my journey toward the faith life, work, and parenting balance that I have come to cherish. You’ve been a mentor through your words and actions throughout the years. Much love, Pam
Thank you for sharing ❤️
Dear Jackie, you are such an inspiration to me and so many others. Your grace and empathy are boundaryless. I remember our interactions, even from so many years ago, in such detail because of your passion and kindness and resonance with the world.
You will live on. May your path forward be filled with grace.
Sending you and your family prayers, peace, and enduring love,
Diana
Ty🙏
Jackie – you are and continue to be such an inspiration and a clear illustration of true grace. I wish you and your family peace, comfort and the ability to share the remaining special moments.
Ty
I am so, so, sad b/c this is not fair and you are so beloved and I will always remember you leading at St. Paul’s and rocking’ a dress from Act 2 at the annual Meeting and celebrating our daughters’ confirmation. Here’s to your Dad greeting you with pizza and wine. You have shown us all in your living and serving and loving and now leaving how to cherish each other and our time on this planet. God be with you beautiful Jackie- you amazing and ever present spirit.
Thank you so much dear Kari 🙏❤️
Jackie, I am sorry that our paths did not cross again. You were a real inspiration for me in Chicago, I learned so much that matters to me now. Thank you.
Ty🙏
Dear Jackie,
It’s so heartbreaking to know that you have suffered so much, but so inspiring to be “with” you on your shared journey, where you have inspired so many. As someone who lost a sibling to a long battle with cancer, I am truly thankful for the lives of those that we love so much. And having the time to share our feelings with each other while we are together. Thank you for your friendship over these many years, and for reconnecting me with and helping me understand empathy, and remembering to put myself in others shoes. It’s lifelong learning! I will never forget you! Fondly, and with love,
Thank you
Love you all
Dear Jackie, I am very grateful for the gift of your letter to all of us. I have read and reread it. I have carefully put it aside so that I might revisit it in times to come. With you. And each time, you will inspire me again with your courage, with the intimacy you have shared with us, with the “unfettered love” and joy you have experienced and shared in your life. Of course, many of us have had prior knowledge, I in our EFM group where I first met you—what a pleasure, and the very many you have inspired in your calls to Empathy and service. You have shown us how to live. Now you are showing us how to bring our lives to a close, and begin anew.
Thank you, Jackie. I love you. God blesses you and watches over you.
Ty🙏
I’m so sorry, Jackie. Go in peace. Your legacy will live in everyone who’s had the good fortune to know you. I’m grateful to be one of them.
You, John, Sophie and Grant will be in our thoughts.
Ty
Jackie,
Words fail me, when Mike shared your post I wept as I read; for you and what you have endured in these last 2+ years, for your family and what they will miss, for your friends and followers and the world. . . And in the same moment, I am awestruck by the obvious profound difference you have made in the world. Your willingness to unabashedly share your wisdom and empathy with everyone is what we are all called to do… and you have and you have changed lives forever and for the better. Thank you for that.
We will be praying you home. Soon you will hear “Well done. Good and faithful servant.”
Wishing you peace.
So nice to hear from you
Ty🙏
Hello Jackie,
I am grieved to read this post as I remember one of our last conversations in person about not wanting to “die bad” so in a way I am happy that you have chosen this route. I am thankful and blessed to have met you and to have been a part of your journey and mission here on earth. You have been such an inspiration to me as a doctor and a person. I have and will continue to share your life and success (even with death) with my patients.
I wish and pray for peace and joy over John, Sophie, Grant, and Rocky as they laugh, cry, and learn to live with you in a different way. Of course, let them remember that my office is here for all of you at any time.
I pray that The Lord blesses you and keeps you, that He makes His face shine upon you and is gracious to you. May The Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you His peace as He gently calls you back home.
Wishing you peace and love through this journey and the next.
Ty❤️
Jackie – I am sorry that we were not able to help you. Your spirit and fight will inspire us to keep pushing for answers, for cures, for hope. If I can do anything for you or your family please do not hesitate to call me. xo
Thank you Jen
Jackie, You are so very special and always will be. For you and the many you have impacted, I hope for all of your hopes. I would humbly say that you have “done” so much. I just drove through Cleveland today and thought of you. I have and will continue to do this often. My love to you and yours.
Thanks so much Dean
Much love to you and yours
Love you Jackie.
Dear Jackie:
It was such an honor to meet and talk with you at a few LeMay functions.
I knew instantly that you were a very special women whom God created in his image.
We have been praying for your healing… but now we know that God decided that your healing would be in Heaven! You will be whole again, no pain, no sadness, no sickness ever again. I can only imagine what it will be like, when you see Jesus face to face. We will all make it someday, but you will be promoted before us!!!
It’s so difficult to understand, but soon all of your questions will be answered.
My prayer is that your family will have peace in all of this. One day they will understand, but for now we will be holding them up in prayer.
I was so blessed to know you and I will see you in Heaven at my appointed time.
You are so beautiful and I cannot wait to see your beautiful smiling face in Heaven.
Mona Koehler
Ty for these comforting words 🙏❤️
Jackie,
I just wanted to let you know that we are thinking about you, John, Sophie, and Grant. We have great memories of watching the kids play softball, sitting in your kitchen chatting and carrying on and dancing at shaker with you, John and Rochelle. You have been a great wife, mother and a friend/mentor to so many. “Empathy and love” at a time when we need it most. What a legacy. Thank you for sharing yourself with us, we are sending our hugs, prayers and peace to you! Love Jon
Thanks so much Jon
Love to you and yours
Thanks Jackie we are sending our love to you and your family
Jackie –
The courage in this post and the love you show for your family and the people around you is remarkable and unforgettable. We are all better for having you in our lives.
“All humankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated”
Hello there
Ty❤️🙏
Jackie –
I am heartbroken to hear this news. I have so loved watching from afar as you and John created such a beautiful family and passionately engaged life together. It has been one of my great joys to know I played a small part in helping your deep love take root. Your incredible spirit, wisdom, compassion, and grace have been a gift and inspiration for us all.
You will be in my heart forever. Thank you for being so open about this difficult journey. I know you will be watching over Sophie, Grant, and John, and they will always feel your love.
Sending hugs and all my love,
Libby
I was just thinking about you today
Without you I would never have met John
There aren’t sufficient words to thank you for that inspired kindness. Much love back to you and yours
I thought of you yesterday, and wanted to say again, that you and your family are in my heart prayers. May you and your family continue to be surrounded and in the love that you created and nurtured. Much love to all of you.
Ty❤️🙏
Dear Jackie, from the first yoga class I took with you at Confluence in Cleveland Heights I knew I was in the presence of a very gifted and spiritual person who was yet so down-to-earth! I felt like I’ve known you forever, and I have no doubt I’ll be taking more classes with you in the great mystery that lies beyond. Please bring your inspirational wisdom cards! You and your family are in my most loving thoughts and prayers❣️
Love and miss you Mark
Jackie, regretfully I learned only yesterday that you have been posting communications. For the past 24 hours, I have been reflecting on your powerful words, which are most certainly an indication of the strength and character of the person behind them. Life’s circumstances are not always fair, and frustratingly so for those who have so much to offer. Everyone has been so lucky to have you in our lives. I’m thinking of you and Sophie and Grant and John…..God bless you, Jackie.
David
Thank you, David 🙏
Your life and knowledge has been such a gift to so many of us. May the Lord accept you into his hands and take care of your family always. Godspeed and God Bless.
Thank you 🙏
Jackie,
Your belief in the the power of intention, connection with others and empathy (bka LOVE) to accomplish the seeming impossible was so refreshing after dealing with so many people, for so many years in the cynical world of law enforcement who dismissed my optimism out of hand. Your grand vision for the possibilities of work which sprung from your grand vision of life itself brought a smile to my face the minute you started talking.
You have left an indelible imprint on so many lives and maybe, just maybe the world of law enforcement will be a better place for your having taken a chance on us!
This isn’t goodbye, it’s talk to you later.
God bless you and yours!
Love you bro
Hi Jackie,
It has been a VERY long time since we last spoke. I completely came across this by accident. I wish I had some clever or beautiful words to say. Sadly, that is not my “strength”. It is impossible to process this news. I would just point out the obvious: It is amazing how many lives you have touched, and how much love you have brought into the world. I have never forgotten how intelligent, cheerful, and kind you were to everyone who crossed your path. Thank you for making this world a better place.
Thank you Fari
Jackie, I hope you are comfortable, my dear friend. I will carry in my heart forever sweet memories of time spent with you. I will look up to heaven when I think of you and smile. I will take in the warmth of your smile back at me. Before my dad died, he said he would do more for us in heaven than he could on earth. He has, in so many ways. Sunshine on a wedding day. His hankie in my pocket when I need him to dry my tears. I have no doubt you will do the same in big and small ways for your beloveds, John, Sophie and Grant. I love you, Jackie. Take my love with you to heaven, where we will meet again. ~Cindy
Ty😘❤️🙏
I have had stage for breast cancer for 15 years. I don’t think I have ever read anything more beautiful. Thank you.❤️
❤️🙏